Running thoughts

In less than 48 hours, i’ll be on my way to JFK international airport and making my way to UK. I’ll leave this quiet town, this comfy and clean house where i called home for the past few weeks. Isn’t is amazing how we meet different people in life at the most strangest place, and then they become part of our lives. I wonder, if my photographer from D.C. didn’t cancel my shoot, and if i didn’t make it back to South Jersey, and didn’t follow Alex to Canada, will our relationship be that strong? Or it’ll be a very sweet memory of the typical summer fling. I may meet him in Asia or when he relocates to Singapore and we may hang out together again? I guess i’ll never know. But i do know that if we both hang in there and make this relationship work, he will be the last man i ever date.

You know the excitement when you are getting ready to leave a place and head to the next destination, i don’t feel that way. Im so not ready to leave, i feel that my life is already here. I wake up seeing the guy of my dreams next to me, it feels amazing. I cannot imagine life without him. I see myself cooking dinner for him everyday when he comes home and before i go to work, as a bartender at night, going hiking and rock climbing with him on Sundays, gym on every other day. It just seems so beautiful.

It’s so crazy, i never thought i’ll meet someone i actually really like, so much, with the same hobbies, and aspiration, with great communication between us. I adore this guy so much. I just feel so loss, restless, and empty, knowing that i won’t see him for the next few days, weeks, might be even months. I will miss him very very much.

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