The lost one

Since young, i’ve always wanted to leave Singapore and migrate to a “white-people’s” country. I have no idea why. Born and raised in Singapore, i was a typical Singaporean, finish my education, work, have a family and buy a house and pay the mortgage until the rest of my life. Funny enough, actually almost everyone in the world feels like this is the right way to live.

Growing up with my younger sister, Charlene, she’s always the smarter one. She has been to so many countries, all paid for by school, from being in the choir group. She went to the most reputable Junior College and University in Singapore.

Sometimes, actually, most times, i don’t feel like i belong to Singapore. I kinda knew it from the start, it just pretty much got confirmed after i moved to Perth. I think my parents lost hope in me. Mainly because im not earning as much money as i should, and i havent actually return the money i owe my mum for student loans.

Charlene just graduated from uni and is now probably gonna land a job, maybe marry some christian dude so she can walk down the aisle in a church, then buy a house together and have babies and work till the day she dies.

I got into an accident the day before and told my parents about it via our “family” whatsapp group. I had no reply, they didn’t even say anything. Mum spoken something about investing and Charlene said she don’t want to learn and she don’t know how. I personally feel like she’s just comfortable the way life it, and so are my parents. Why complicate it when you can just work and get money and spend it on things you like.

I feel very different though, i want to achieve something in life, i want to do what i want. Enjoy life, be realistic obviously, but not subject to the norms of life, to work then die. Im confused and upset now. I want to be successful, i know i will be. There’s this fire in me that burns strongly. I am hungry for more.

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