It’s been a week since the breakup, and i’ve been thinking and researching a lot throughout this period of time. Give sometime to reflect of myself. Of course i haven’t turn into a complete saint but im writing this to give myself a reminder and hoping to help anyone that is going through a downtime in life. And also, writing is therapeutic and it makes me feel better 🙂
As times goes by, technology improves, human perception changes and we expect a lot more from not only ourselves but other people as well. I just want to remind myself and anyone else if there’s actually people reading it, that we are all responsible for our own lives, success, mistakes and failure. Everything starts with “me”. (no specific orders/gender specific)
1. Forgive and stop blaming yourself
Ever overslept and missed the train and then miss half of your class and your whole day just turn shit? Then you start blaming yourself for not sleeping early the night before, and cause you have a lot of work to do, but then ended up procrastinating… blah blah blah…. There could be worst situations that happen but simple things happen like that in our daily life that we always overlooked and i think we should stop blaming ourselves. Of course we don’t take ourselves for granted and use that as an excuse, but we should always learnt from our mistakes, forgive ourselves and improve to be a better person, and so we will not make the same mistake over and over again.
2. Dress up! Suit up!
Im a fcking lazy person. I hate putting on makeup. I hate dressing up. I find all opportunities to wear a jumper and pair of jeans and slip on my shoes and that’s about it. But sometimes i have the mood to dress up and do a bit of makeup, comb my hair, and i look at myself into the mirror and im like “damn i feel good!” I do a bit of modelling, you can check out my website. Given my height and my face, obviously i don’t look anywhere near Kate Moss or Tyra Banks, and i definitely don’t go around telling people “hey imma model!” Cause they always give me a shitface after when some of my friends goes around telling “hey do you know Cheryl’s a model?” Haha. So yea, guys, trim your beard, girls, put on some nice dresses, cause it does makes you feel more confident and happier when you dress up 🙂
3. Have a goal, but don’t plan too soon
Im guilty of always making plans too early, i think about stuff that’s gonna happen in 5 to 10 years time down the road and then get stressed up when it’s not going according to plan. Even my mum says im crazy sometimes. Lol. I blame it on the “event planner” mentality. I like to get things organized, and set my calendar 2 to 3 months in advance, and end up stressing myself, and put unnecessary stress on others. And when stress occurs, we all know that’s not a good sign cause it just messes up with your whole system. A very dear person once told me this “We can plan but we also have to live in the moment.” It’s true. Also, i met up with a mentor today, someone i looked up to a lot because of his successful career, he told me something along the line, “have a goal and work towards it, but don’t stress about it”.
4. Care more for others
Cause it feels nice to be a nice person. A little act of kindness goes a very long way. It can brighten up someone’s day and even yourself too 🙂
5. Have alone time
I never knew what was called “alone time”. It’s so boring. I grew up sleeping in the same room with my sister, and due to finance reasons, my dad, mum, sister and i started sleeping in the same room, this was in Singapore, then when i first moved to Perth, i shared a room with my friend. I remembered in November 2012, all my other girlfriends moved back to Singapore so i moved out and rented a room in another shared house with complete strangers. I unpacked my stuff on the first day, told myself i finally got my own room, and during bedtime, i started crying. For one whole week i was so bored and lonely. It took me awhile to get used to it. In this 2 years that i’ve been here, and my year and a half relationship with an introvert guy, and most of his friends are introverts too, i learnt that having alone time is very important, it makes you reflect on yourself a lot, get focused and get you back on track towards your goal.
6. Stay away from social media
Facebook is such an awesome tool, it’s so efficient and useful. I believe Facebook is part of our daily life, and so is Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, etc. My lecturer uses it, my work uses it, everyone uses it. But i feel that the we rely a little bit too much on it already and it’s never good to rely on something, or someone. Sometimes when i see videos or links being posted, which are fake, it’s funny how people tend to believe everything they learnt from the internet is true. It kinda manipulates your thinking and certain thoughts get in grained into your brain thinking if it’s on the internet it must be true. I watched a short documentary on Four Corners: Generation Like, a couple of weeks back, and it’s scary how our generation perceive everything through the number of likes and followers in the social media. We crave for the social acceptances around our peers and public. I believe we should try to stay away, it’s hard, i know. But try.
7. Think, Improve, Progress, Succeed
My primary school motto. Alway used your brain. Sometimes i get upset by certain things and then i blabber out nonsense which unintentionally hurt other people. This motto has been with me for the past 15 years. It’s indeed a very good advice for your daily life.
8. Strive and Persevere
My secondary school motto. NEVER GIVE UP. I admire people who are on the go on pursuing their dreams. It’s a very admirable thing to do, and it’s attractive. And i look up to people who have goals in life. Dream big they say, but wake up, work hard and pursue your dream, don’t just dream. There are bound to be obstacles in life, but remember to never ever give up.
9. Do not be judgmental
I feel that most people like you and i tends to be very judgemental. We don’t know anyone’s story apart from our own, and we always make assumptions and conclusions based on what we see and not what we know. No one knows their life better than themselves. Whatever happens to anyone has nothing to do with you anyway. As long as they don’t harm others, everyone has the right to life their life as they want. As the saying goes, “don’t judge a book by its cover”. “Be curious, not judgemental” – Walt Whitman.
10. Be independent
I don’t know about most people but i personally think that being independent is a very attractive trait. Independent people make good relationships. It’s important to know you way around your own life, so you can work together with someone you love and build another life out of it. Being independent might make it seems that you’ve got a lot on your plate and stress multiply but i believe it makes you realize what you want out of your life, and this will lead to better decision-making. Many of us are scared of responsibilities, and we tend to rely a lot on others for certain decisions we make in life. It also brings out a sense of achievement, which i think it’s worthy to live for. Stay strong.
Pretty long post i must say. But i definitely feel better now. Good night world 🙂